First week back on the floor…

Hey, look at this, less than 3 months has passed between postings. Yay me. Of course, even with the bandages off its still difficult to type. Good thing wordpress provides a spell checker.

Shortly after my last post my wife drove me to the dojang to see everyone. She thought I needed it, but was worried about how it would affect me. At first it was awesome. Getting a chance to joke about it with my other family, getting words of support and wishes for speedy recovery. But then the classes started and Ms M was alone on the floor. There was only one turtle so the first half hour wasn’t so bad. There was a rather large group of tigers though, and she was still alone out there, and I couldn’t help. One, I was still coming down from the Oxy. Second… well I covered that in the last post. Only 45 minutes had passed before I was overwhelmed and left with my tail between my legs.

I was supposed to start class again the following Monday, but in a cruel twist of luck my wife was injured at her job. Of course she was half way across the state and I had no way to get out to her. Funny, I lost a finger and mangled two others and I was already back at work. Her job isn’t allowing her to come back on light duty. She’s out for two months while her finger heals.

So my triumphant return was delayed 25 hours.

Tuesday night I go in late for me but not teaching it was on the early side for class. I had given up on tying my belt (wasn’t working with the hand all bandaged up). Before class I’m sitting around talking to Ms M and a few of the parents and feeling sorry for myself. In my mind I was wasting my time. I couldn’t really do anything. Couldn’t jump or bounce around without the hand screaming at me. Certainly couldn’t do push ups or self defences. Weapons were almost completely out of the question, especially when bo is the weapon of the cycle. Ms. M rolled her eyes at me and hit me with a barrage of questions.. “can you kick? can you do your forms? can you…can you…can you?” And of course the answer to all of them was yes. 60 minutes later I’m sweating, tired, and feeling better than I had since the accident.

Wednesday night… wasn’t nearly as bad as I feared. It was still unnerving as hell, but I made it through. For those of you who still haven’t seen yet, here are the pics of the unveiling…

The most traumatic part was the surgeon removing the bandages. Some of the stitches had worked their way through the bandages and then got gunked up so it all stuck together. Hurt more than I was prepared for.

Thursday night I started to back slide a bit emotionally. It was a stripe test night and I didn’t want to deal with it. Part of me felt that the only reason I would get the stripe was a pity pass. Once the test started though I hit the mute button on that voice and gave what I could. I left feeling like I had earned the pass and all was good in the world.

The weekend was… uneventful and amazing at the same time. In order to avoid confusion I’m going to phrase this in a way that makes it easy to understand, yet makes me uncomfortable. My son’s half-brother reached out to me. I suppose I could explain a little. See, I never used “step-son” in regards to him. For the better part of two years he was my son. Now, I haven’t seen or heard from him in almost 20 years. He’s got a son of his own now, seems really adjusted. Can’t really say yet where this is going, but the talks have been good.

Last night’s classes were fun and painful. Too cramped on the floor. Too close to one of the dans. Our hands went out at the same time and he connected with my injured hand. Stars, hurk, a little dizzy… gonna sit for a few minutes, k? Also made the mistake of trying to handle a bo. Got through the first three moves of the form and then got the bo jammed under the splints. Stars, hurk, a little dizzy… That pissed me off. A lot. Like, losing it angry. Not that I let anyone see it. But still.

I know. Too much too soon. I should be taking it easy. I just want my hand back. What’s left of it anyway.

Tang Soo!

Barring any serious injuries…

Looking back on that statement, a part of me wonders if the universe saw that and realized how close I was to the goal and said “challenge accepted.”

48 hours ago I was involved in a serious workplace accident. So far the results of the damage has cost me an inch off the tip of my middle finger, and some serious disfigurement to the ring and index fingers of my left hand. The doctor said there is a lot of potential for long term pain as there has “most likely” been some nerve damage as well.

Outwardly I’ve been keeping up appearances, making jokes, making sure those close to me aren’t worried, that they don’t need to be strong and supportive because I’m strong enough to deal with this and be okay. I haven’t had time to deal with it yet. I can’t. Every time I get close to being real about it I have to look away. Even now, alone in my home typing this out I can’t stop the tears and I don’t know how to cope.

I have the most amazing support staff between my family and friends and school. My wife hasn’t left my side for more than 30 minutes while she’s been home. My friends have been reaching out on the phone and facebook and one of them spent a few hours and took me out to lunch while my wife was at work. In less than 24 hours the owners of my school showed up at my door with a get well soon card that had so many signatures that they couldn’t squeeze any more on it.

I am humbled. I feel loved. And I have never been more afraid in my life. The worst part is I’m not even sure what I’m afraid of.

Will there need to be changes to how I approach things? Yeah. I’ve already been thinking about that. Especially where weapon training is concerned. Likely a lot of self-defenses as well. Will I let it slow me down? Not if I can help it. Not with the help and support of everyone who is here for me. So that’s not it.

It won’t affect my family life or friends in anyway. I’m still able to work and I’m even going back to light duty on monday, so that’s not it either.

In the grand scheme of things a fingertip is a rather small issue. Its not cancer or addiction or abuse. So what is it that’s got me so messed up right now? And why do I feel like I’m betraying something by sharing this?

Today is a good day. The pain has subsided for the most part and is now at a manageable level. I’m alive if not entirely whole. And still this dark cloud won’t leave me alone.

The thought of Wednesday is driving me crazy. Right now I can pretend everything is cool. The hand is bandaged up and I can’t see the damage. Wednesday I see the surgeon for a follow up and the bandages come off and I have no choice but to face it.

I’m not looking for a pity party. I appreciate the heart felt sympathy, but that’s not what this is about. And by all means, let me believe that I’m still fooling you with the outward show of strength.

Its likely that I’m going to have to sit out on the teaching for a while. Its hard to be hands on with the little ones when one of your hands is bandaged up and super sensitive to contact. I’ll also have to be very careful with what I can and can’t do during my own classes. This won’t keep me out of the school, but it will redefine my role there until I’m fully recovered.

In a little over a month I will be an apprentice, just in time for my hand to be healed if the surgeon’s prediction is correct. Time marches on, the world still spins. What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, or in some cases maims us horribly. Need to learn how to say that with a laugh and a grin again.

Tang Soo!!

And thus concludes the Gup Hyungs…

Wow. Just… wow. Or maybe whoa…

While I’m sure it still needs some editing, The Tang Soo Do Gup Hyungs for the Detail Oriented Mind is complete. As of… oh ten minutes ago, Pyang Ahn Sam Dan has been written out and mostly Korean-ized and entered into the file. This is terrifying and gratifying and huge for me. It also means that I need to find time to knock out the Simplified English version now.

See, writing out all the small details and then putting into mostly Korean was more of an exercise in learning the Korean I need for Do Jang life. Yes it helped solidify the forms in my head. The down side is trying to use it as a reminder when I’m stuck on a part of a form and have to go through all the minutia to find the part I’m questioning. A simplified English version will be much better suited for that.

To share or not to share, that is the question. I have no intentions of ever publishing these, but I’m not completely against sharing them with a few select people. I would also love to show them to a few people and get some feedback on it, mostly for corrections or to fill in some of the blanks on the Korean that I’m missing. I’ve got access to a library or two, but finding time to go through them while at the do jang without causing an interruption can be a difficult task.

Of more immediate concern, this also has other implications. That being I know all of the open hand forms I need to test for black. I’d love to say that I’m confident in knowing them well enough, but in the interest of complete honesty I don’t think that I do. I’m spending every free moment I have going over them in my head, performing them when I can… but I still get stuck on a few of them. I’m getting better though, so there’s that. I’m trying to focus on that. I’m really trying to overlook the fact that I’ve been ignoring the weapons forms. Not cool, I know. I’m solid with the bo form. I think I’m okay with the sword form. The sai form I remember bits and pieces of. The kama form… well…  Thankfully I’ve still got time to work out all the kinks, and I do have notes on all of the weapons forms as well. They’re just not my notes on them. Time to go over the videos again.

Strange that the only thing I’m not overly worried about is the self defences or techniques. True, I’m a bear not a bird, and most of my jump/flying kicks are sad looking things. Okay, to be fair, its mostly the more complicated jumping kicks that I’m disgusted with myself for. Like jump spin axe kick. Or the infamous tornado kick. I’m happy with my flying side kick, and downward momentum on a pop up front kick means a lot more with 225 pounds behind it.

So yes, I’m still nervous about what comes next. It’s getting better, but that anxious feeling is still there. I’m hoping it never leaves completely. Oddly I think I’d be more comfortable with it at a manageable level than completely gone. I’ve a feeling that going into testing completely sure of myself is the quickest way to screw something up royally.

Anywho, that’s all for now.

Tang Soo!

Achievement Unlocked – 1 Gup Red

Hold me, I’m scared.

Right, so I had a few hundred words written already and wiped them out to start over. After talking with a friend for a bit I’m going to try a different approach than what I had in mind. Hopefully it’ll work out.

Four months. Not a lot of time left. Some of you are about to get bombarded with questions and pleas for help. See with your help, and the help of some of my fellow students, I’ve created this pocket of stress in the back of my head. I’ve got this idea that I can’t shake and it’s making me a little crazy. Part of it is buying into the hype. I mean you hear a thing so many times and you start to believe it, right? Part of it I wrote about a few postings ago – the feeling of higher expectations due to the fact that I’m not just a student. Admittedly I’m fairly certain that this is my own hang up. No one has ever said, directly or implied, that I need to out perform anyone else. Quite the opposite actually. Its constantly drilled into our heads that you have to judge everyone on their own level and against how they’ve performed in the past. One of my hugest failings is my ability to read too much into something though. I’ll worry at it like a dog with a bone until it either tastes like I think it should, or it falls apart completely.

Rereading this a few times, I’m still not sure how to end it or if I should even publish it. It boils down to me wanting to be able to perform at a level I can be proud of, having no idea what that level is, and a strong desire for someone else to tell me. It makes me sound needy, and I hate it. I’ve never much cared for what other people think and get annoyed with people who seek validation through others and now this.

Anyway, enough of that.

This past cycle was a little crazy and I’m still not sure how I made it through. Between sickness, a two week vacation, and snow days, I may have missed more classes than I actually took. Still managed to feel comfortable enough with the sword form and Chil Sung Sam Ro by the end, though there was a bit of panicking about that. A huge thanks to MrsP and the other half of my brain for getting me not only through the required parts of the sword form but all the way to the end of it. Still not quite sure how I got through Chil Sung Sam Ro, but I’ll take the win and thank everyone for that.

Taught my first private lesson a few weeks ago. One of our Advanced Dragons was preparing to test for the coveted Black Dragon belt. Still haven’t heard as to whether or not she got it, but she did amazingly well during our lesson. Only took a minute or two for her to remember the form from the previous cycle (she needed to know this cycle’s form and last cycle and be able to perform them at the level expected of one of our Karate Kids) and she quickly adapted to the changes and details I suggested to her to bring it up to that level.

For those of you not in the know, my wife is amazing. For our anniversary she took me to Ninja World and bought me a new pair of chucks and a chinese broadsword. I love the pair of chucks that I already had. They’re heavy and great for training and conditioning. The problem is they’re heavy and it makes some of the prettier tricks difficult. So I wanted a pair of performance chucks to start working on those prettier tricks. The broadsword is this coming cycle’s xma weapon. Someone (won’t name names) has been not-so-gently nudging me to get one so that I can learn the form that’ll be taught during the XMA class. While I’m not a fan of the XMA forms (okay, they can be beautiful, but as I’ve said before – bear, not bird and I don’t fly well) I’m eager to learn a new sword form. Gives me more incentive to finish building my fire sword that I’ve had the parts and wicking to build for a year or so.

I’m sure there’s more, but I’m typed out for now. I would promise to write more often but we all know how that’ll turn out. So until the next time…

Tang Soo!

20 years of service…

Wow. Its one of those things you don’t really think about until it comes up. And when you do think about it your mind starts to twitch a little at the vastness…

The dojang that I have the privilege of being a student and instructor at celebrated its 20th anniversary this week. Twenty. Years. In the three and a half years that I’ve been with them I’ve seen three martial arts schools come and vanish in my home town alone. Our current enrollment is around 250 students ranging between the ages of 2 and 60+. Another highly impressive number.

I can’t speak to why the other schools failed while we’ve been going strong all this time, but having never stepped foot in one of these other schools it is hard for me to say. I know what we are doing right though. Some of this will be a repeat of things I’ve said in previous posts, but as this is a special time for the school I’ll risk it. Also these aren’t necessarily the order of importance (certainly not in my mind anyway) and rereading this part of me wants to reorder them, but I’ll let it stand the way it is.

First – the mantra we hear over and over again from Mr. M. The Mission Statement if you will. We do not teach karate. We teach people how to become better people. Karate is just the tool and benchmark we use to do this. And this isn’t something that shows up later in the curriculum. Honestly you see it at work more often in the Power Turtles (2-3 year olds) and the Tiny Tigers (4-5). The curriculum contains a primary focus on a mental or social goal and a secondary physical one. As an example, this month is humility. And it gets broken down so that even the little ones can understand the concept. What are you good at? Is it okay to be proud of yourself for this? Is it okay to make someone else feel bad by saying “I’m awesome and you’ll never be as good”?

But it goes a little bit further than that. As instructors we are expected to drop the curriculum if a situation arises that needs to be dealt with immediately, and this is something you see regularly – especially in the kids classes. Class has a lack of focus today? Run these drills until they start showing focus. Someone not showing respect on the floor or to their parents? Mat chat about the importance of respect and why you can’t teach karate to someone who doesn’t show respect. The karate can wait, these things are more important.

Second, we listen to the parents and deal with their concerns. A week doesn’t go by that a parent will pull one of us a side and say their child is having difficulty with x, and we have a few ways of helping out with that. Usually its a simple matter of changing up the mat chat or focusing on a specific part of the form. Sometimes its taking the child aside and having a serious discussion with them. Either way we don’t let it slide, and we make sure the parents know that we are dealing with it. The parents are putting a lot on the line by allowing us to be such a huge part of their children’s lives and we want them to know that not only are the children in a safe place, but that we’ve got the parents’ backs when they need us. There are no closed classes. The parents are always welcome (and encouraged) to watch the classes and we do everything loudly enough that they can hear exactly what we’re saying to the kids. We try to take the time between classes to explain what we were doing during the class and the why of it to the parents.

Finally, and in my opinion most importantly, we are a family. I’m not just talking about the staff either. We do everything we can to make a connection with everyone who walks in our doors. Its not about the numbers and the tuitions, its about the people. Its about genuinely caring about them and what they need to achieve any goals they may have.

So in closing, I’d like to say congratulations to the M’s on their 20 years of service, thank you for letting me being part of it, and here’s to the next 20 and beyond.

Tang Soo!

Random Musings…

Let me preface this by saying I’ve done absolutely no research on anything that I’m about to write. Well, that’s not entirely true – I’ve been doing this for a little over 3 years. But most of this is post is going to be pure speculation on my part. I may look a few things up as I’m typing, but that will hardly make me an expert on anything.

When I started this journey I had a few expectations that turned out to be wrong. I’m not disappointed by this, in fact I’m really grateful. As comforting as it is to know how to completely destroy a body should the need ever arise, its not something most going into this want to ever experience.

And there-in lays the first of the musings. I’ve come around to believe that all styles and forms of karate fall under one category. Saying your style is a sport karate or a warrior art is like saying a rifle is for skeet shooting or hunting or warfare. Point – Tang Soo Do is a warrior art. It was designed for teaching young men how to be warriors. Our cousin Tae Kwon Do is a sport karate created for competition and games. Our school participates in and holds enough tournaments to show that TSD stands up as a sport karate. When applied in the same way TSD was intended, TKD also holds up as a way to destroy someone.  Much like a rifle, the use of the art is in the hands of the artist.

A large sign of this is the lack of body conditioning seen in most schools. I’m not talking about physical fitness and endurance. What I mean is the repeated striking of locations on a partner or a wooden dummy, causing minor injuries to toughen them up over time. In a warrior art something like this is essential and yet you almost never see it anymore. Why? Look at the life expectancy of a warrior. Now look at the life expectancy of a factory worker or mother who is doing this for the fitness/self-defense aspects. Body conditioning damages the body – bones, joints, nerves – so that you can take more damage and keep going. The benefits are great short term, say the theoretical lifespan of a warrior. Long term they become crippling. Even the conditioning a professional athlete puts themselves through shows how bad it becomes once they reach retirement age.

I’m not convinced that this says all body conditioning is bad though. There needs to be at least some level of it present. Knowing self defenses helps, knowing what it feels like to get your bell rung and still be able to keep going might help more. But how to handle it in a class room situation where all of your students may not be on board? A separate class isn’t a likely candidate. Any more than 15 minutes or so every couple of days (according to a couple of articles I’ve been perusing on the subject while writing this) does more damage than good. Taking away those 10 to 15 minutes from a regular class not only takes away from the students wishing to partake could also leave the rest of the class estranged during that time. Having the students do these types of exercise on their own time also has its hazards. They could over do it and seriously injure themselves and then come back on you for it.

Regular sparring helps with this in some respects. The problem I see with that is sparring happens in very controlled conditions while wearing protective gear. Yes there’s always that one (or two or three) person that takes it too far and forgets it is a complicated game of tag, but there’s always someone standing there ready to say “okay, that’s enough.” In a real situation there is no referee. There is no safety net.

The hope is you never need to use your training outside of the school. The theory is that if you know how to handle yourself you walk with an air of confidence that makes the predators shy away. The truth is you never know if you’re going to bump into that one nut job with something to prove, and then it comes down to fight or flight. Is knowing how to handle yourself enough? Knowing how to avoid getting hit isn’t the same as knowing if you can handle taking a hit and keep moving.

And to think this whole post started because I was wondering this morning why we don’t break stuff more often then thinking about how much damage breaking stuff does to the hands and realizing I already had my answer.

Anyway, its time for my run. I said random musings but it took me entirely too long to get the first musing down. I’ll save the rest for another day.

Tang Soo!

I’m going slightly mad…

For all of you who aren’t on my facebook page (or just ignore my regular status updates) I’ve started a new C25k journey (6 weeks later than originally planned, thank you broken toe). On top of it I’ve started another interesting little app called Just 6 Weeks. It claims to be able to get you 100 push ups, 200 sit ups, 200 squats, 150 dips, and 20 pull ups in 6 weeks. I haven’t gotten to the dips program yet, and the pull ups will have to wait til it starts getting warmer. I’ve got a nice pull up bar in my back yard that I built a few years ago, but its just too darn cold for that noise right now.

Honestly its almost too cold for running, but I need to run. I need the push ups and sit ups too. The squats aren’t strictly necessary, but I’m told they’ll do wonders for my horse stances for the Naihanchis. I’ve got about a year or so to worry about it. To get the numbers high enough. For what you ask? Phase 1.

I stick to my previous statements about the belt not mattering. Its not a goal, just the end of the beginning. But its still a huge milestone. And time is moving a bit faster than I wanted it to. There’s been a lot of trust put in me, and I don’t want to let anyone down. I don’t want to get there and be told that a mistake was made and I shouldn’t have been there. Part of me says that if there were huge issues of concern something would have been said so that they can be corrected. Shocking right? And yet it still eats at me.

So at the moment, I’m taking classes 3 nights a week. 3 of the 4 days I’m not on the floor I’m running and doing the just 6 weeks. The last day I’ve been either resting or wasting depending on how you want to look at it. I’m seriously considering getting back into yoga on that day to help with the stretching and keep myself from tightening up. My wife says I’m insane for pushing myself like this, though she gets it and is supportive.

There’s a couple of things at play here, and I recognize them. They are things I wish I could get rid of. First on the list – Seasonal Affective Disorder… I always get a little wonky this time of year. And no, that’s not a self-diagnosis. Personally I think its just about the holidays and how much they make me crazy. The rest is needing to trust in the people around me and letting go of certain issues that plagued me growing up. One of the most damaging things you can say to a child is “you’ve got some real talent, but why are you wasting your time with this? You’ll never do anything with it.”

Wow, that was morbid. Deep, but morbid. Shall we brighten things up in here a bit?

In candidate class this week I was the only grown up with 3 of the karate kids. This month its all self-defences. Next month is the month I’m really interested in, but I’ve got another 2 weeks to wait for it. But back to this week – we had gone over all of the material for the class and got in line for a round robin type of drill. One person attacks the next with one of the attacks we went over, the other defends, etc etc. One of the kids totally half assed his defence and it irked me. I looked over at Ms. C and asked her if I could do something about it real quick. She agreed and I went off on the kid. I got all up in his face and gave the “if you’re going to be attacked by someone they’re going to be bigger than you and think you’re easy meat” speech while he’s back peddling and looking a little scared, I got my hands around his neck and growled “now do it like your life depends on it”.

Needless to say, he gave it his all for the rest of the class. Hits pretty hard for a youngin, too.

Anyway, I think I’m done for now. Not a good idea to sit for too long after running and all those squats.

Tang Soo!

Its already been a month?

Time really does fly when you’re having fun.

So yes, I’ve been an instructor for a month now. Surprisingly its a lot like being an active FIST. The only real differences are having access to the staff page and having to teach the occasional class when Ms M has an intro to run. Oh, and teaching the second half of the CDF (Cardio Defensive Fitness) class on Tuesdays…

Story time!

First day in the instructor uniform, walk into the school and Ms M tells me that I need to teach the Turtle class because she’s running behind and has a few things to do. Turtles. On my first day. Alone. First thing that pops into my mind is “what am I doing? I’m not ready for this yet.”

For those of you who just got here, the Turtle class is our program for 2 to 3 year olds. They’re a little intimidating. Generally they’re adorable and work really hard to please, but being 2 to 3 years old once in a while you have one of them melt down for any number of reasons and trying to figure out what that reason is so that you can bring them back around before they infect the rest of the class can be challenging.

So I take stock of the situation. Low and behold there is only one Turtle there! This is going to be easy. Usually there are three of them. But maybe not so easy. The child won’t look at me, is clinging to her Hello Kitty plushie for dear life, and is curled up in the fetal position in her mother’s arms. The mom looks at me, gives me a tired smile and says “she just woke up from her nap and has been crying and screaming since. Good luck!”

Oh boy.

The mom manages to wrest the Hello Kitty away from the child and brings her to the edge of the karate floor. The little one curls up into a ball and starts crying. Class started two minutes ago, and this is going swimmingly. I sit down on the floor next to the little one and ask her if she’s ready to learn karate. “NO!” An idea begins to form. “Can I teach Kitty how to do karate?” No response. Mom hands me the plushie. I scootch back a bit and find a dot for Kitty to “stand” on and start class. “CHECK OUT MY DOT!” I make Kitty look down at the dot on the floor and notice that the little one is peaking at me from under her arm. “HANDS ON BACK!” I move Kitty’s arms behind her back. “FEET ON FLOOR!” The little one sits up and promptly covers her face with her hands when she sees me looking at her. “TURTLE!” cross Kitty’s arms in front of her. “POWER!” move Kitty’s arms down to the power position and catch the little one smiling at me which makes her go back to hiding behind her hands.

For the next ten minutes I teach Hello Kitty how to do a crane stance and throw a punch. Did you know that Hello Kitty isn’t good at balancing? Poor thing kept falling over and making the little one giggle. Finally Kitty gets the crane stance perfect and I compliment her on how much of a ninja she is for a foot tall plush doll and the child is laughing like a loon. She then asked for Kitty back, gave it a hug then looked at me and said “okay, I’m ready to learn karate now.” The mom gives me a huge smile that makes me think I’m the coolest thing since sliced bread and the rest of the class I had a very happy Turtle that is going above and beyond what I had hoped for given the circumstances.

After the class was over I talked to the mom and apologized for things not going to plan. At that point I was honestly worried that she was going to be upset about the whole thing. I knew I handled it as best I could, but there’s always that nagging thought of could someone else with more experience have handled it better and how is the parent going to react to it. She laughed it off and said she was happy that I was able to get the little one to take class.

Did I get to do the lesson plan? Not even remotely. Yes I started her on learning how to do crane stance and throw a punch while the leg was up in the air, but that was about it. Do I feel like it was still a win? You bet… in point of fact I’m rather proud of it.

I just wish the rest of that day went as smoothly.

Around 6 Ms M pulls me aside and tells me that I need to run the second half of CDF because Mr Mac was going to be teaching the black belt class. Now, CDF is a class that I should have no problems running. Between what’s in the book for the curriculum and my 3 cycles of P90X, making a group of people tired and sweaty should be really easy. The problem is taking over the class half way through and having no idea what they’ve already done. Even worse is taking over for Mr Mac. He’s got the most insane collection of exercises for things that everyone usually over looks.

So I go onto the other floor right at 7 which was my first mistake. In my defense I was helping out with a class that didn’t end until 7. Mr Mac is in a rush to get onto the floor with the black belts and points out a few people and says injury, injury, injury, new, etc. Already I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. How to keep the class intense enough to satisfy those who are healthy and easy enough not to lose the interest of those who are injured or new is a tough balancing act. I didn’t really catch what he had said about what they had already done… mostly because there was just so much of it. Mr Mac tends to ignore the curriculum and just does whatever pops into his head.

Needless to say my first CDF class was a bit rocky. I’ve done 3 more since and the students have all said that I’ve gotten better with each one and more confident with it. Yay me. Mr M asked my opinion on starting a new curriculum that will make things a lot easier. I’m looking forward to it, assuming of course that Mr Mac follows it. Instead of trying to figure out what to do that won’t over work what he’s already done, I’ll just pick up on the list where Mr Mac left off. Fingers crossed.

Over all, its been a great ride so far. There’s only one thing about wearing the red pants that has bothered me. FIST class.

I’m still expected to take the FIST class. Which makes sense. I’m only a junior instructor. Not to mention that I do enjoy the class when the other FISTs are on point and doing what we’re supposed to be doing. So its not like it is an onerous task. The problem is that I’m not one of them anymore. There’s a clear division now and the way they react to me shows it. Its only right and proper and part of their training. I’m an instructor now. And part of me is glad for it, makes it so that I don’t have to remind them. But at the same time its a little sad too because there is that line that most of them won’t cross. I know I’m not really explaining this that well. Its difficult to put into words in a way that clearly gets across how it feels. Its like Peter Pan grew up a little and the Lost Boys are no longer sure what to make of him.

There you have it, a month in the life. It has been mostly as I expected it to be and I’m loving it. Somehow this has gone well over the thousand word mark that I usually try to cut off at and I still haven’t gotten around to my broken toe and how much fun class has been with it.  I think I’ll just let that one wait til the next posting.

Tang Soo!

Achievement unlocked: Gup 3 Red. Achievement Unlocked: Bo Kyosa.

So, the big announcement that I’ve sitting on for the last couple of months. My status has been upgraded. As of 8:30ish last night I am officially a junior instructor.

The last test for red was almost a disaster. All the notes written out, read over a dozen times, not to mention countless hours spent doing the forms… and the brain shut off. I would love to know who designed the hardware to do that under stress. Seems counter productive to survival. Managed to muddle through it, though I think I’m going to have to  bring the notes in and go over them with someone. There was a bit that was questioned about one of the details I had given that was responded to with ‘not really, but it kind of works’ or something to that effect. 

Huge kudos need to go out to one of our younger black belts. He sprained his ankle pretty badly last week and had to do the entire graduation in a chair. You could tell he was in a lot of pain but he soldiered through it like a beast. 

Looking forward to an easier cycle now that Bassai Dai is done. Not to mention we get to play with sai this time around.

Amazing how the big announcement is going to get a really small posting. But with the way I’ve stayed on top of the updates there’s not anything left to say at the moment, except thanks for the trust and faith from the owners and the staff. Can’t wait to see what happens next.

Tang Soo!

Life interrupted, or – I need to hit something

I’m going to have to beg for forgiveness on this one. Its not karate related, but I need to vent and at the moment its my only safe avenue with no one being home to talk to… and honestly I hate dumping on people. I hate telling So you’re free to stop reading and go back about your business.

Back around September of last year my son enlisted in the Navy. After basic he was stationed in Groton for a good portion of his schooling. He’s been home quite often on the weekends which is cool, but it would have been cooler if I had known he was home for them. I suppose a little back story is needed to clarify that. He lives with my mom. The rhyme and reason for it doesn’t really matter, its just the way of it.

I’ve never had the best relationship with my parents. That may be putting it mildly. I may have mentioned this before. I know for a fact that I’m rambling a bit and I’d apologize for it if I were in a slightly less angry mood. See, I’m supposed to be at 6 Flags right now with my wife and daughter. This morning I got a message from my sister asking me if I knew that the boy was going to be home for a few hours today before he ships off to Georgia on Wednesday. 

Wait, what? The boy is leaving Wednesday and likely won’t be back for at least a year now… and no one bothered to tell me about it? I knew it was coming soon but this week? Getting information out of the boy has always been like pulling teeth. But my mother knew and didn’t say anything? Angry didn’t begin to cover it. I’m still angry about it. Naturally I sent the girls off to 6 Flags to enjoy their day and stayed home so I could catch the boy and hang out with him for a few hours. It was good. It took some of the edge off the anger.

More frustration… mom swore up and down that she sent me a message telling me about this. About an hour later she checked her messages and saw that she sent it to her brother-in-law instead. Seriously? News like that, no confirmation that I got it? SERIOUSLY?

So on top of this I was told that my grandfather had a stroke this morning. Paralyzed the left side of his body and he needs a feeding tube because he can’t swallow. Granted, this is the same man that I’ve seen once in the last 18 years – his choice, still no idea why. But still.

Anyway, in a bit of a dark place right now. I’ll be fine, but needed to get that off my chest. Sorry if you were hoping for something else, but I did warn you. Anyway, there will be a new Tipping on Friday, and it will be glorious and all about karate again. I promise.